Take the long way

I was thinking the other day about how Melbourne is in the future and New Zealand is in the future but everything after that is in the past. And how it would be confusing to live near the international date line – like if your Mum lived on the next island and she said – come over for dinner on Tuesday, you would say ‘sure Mum’ and hang up the phone but then have to call her right back to check if she meant her Tuesday or yours. That would be confusing.

And then I thought about all the f’ed up things governments do for the good of the people and I thought – what if they thought this confusion was all too much, not good for the people and they decided to close the International Date Line? With impenetrable lasers – not the killing kind but the barrier kind – you know? Imagine that, your Mum would call and say, come over Tuesday and you work out she means her Tuesday so on Wednesday you and your family get in your boat and head over to the next island where Mum lives. Half way there your see a giant impenetrable laser wall with little notices posted every ten metres – “Due to the continuing confusion causing residents, the government of the world has decided to close the International Date Line. If you wish the visit the next island, please take the long way.” Of course they would have put out heaps of media releases but since you don’t have a TV and only ever skim past the news in the paper and concentrate mainly on the quizzes, recipes and cartoons you hadn’t heard anything about this.

So you turn the boat around and you take the long way – can’t be that much longer surely?

Someone remind me to finish that story one day……


Fact: The Island nation of Kiribati moved the International Date Line in 1995 because it had split the nation in two and caused much confusion. No one else seemed to care about this change.